I’ve always liked vampires in literature (and films), until Tweelight and the Sparkly RPatz gang kinda ruined it for me. I share the sentiments of this genius lady’s ranting on that point.
Anyhoo, I thought I’d compile a list of Top Ten vampires which are either the most notorious or just super-cool vampyres. They’ve been there through the years, from the stories of Hungarian duchesses drinking blood of young virgins for eternal youth, to films of today, including Johnny Depp’s recent ‘Dark Shadows’ (which I have yet to see!)
10. RPatz aka. Edward Cullen – Twilight
I didn’t really want to include this vampy, but thought he needed a mention because of how famous he’s become. Set in Ess Meyer’s Twilight trilogy, this vampire is the ultimate romantic gentleman, he’s watches you while you sleep, controls himself from sipping on your sweet, sweet blood and generally promoting all things education, abstinence and not chomping on weak humans. And oh, his tortured soul which sparkles his very innocence and his pure love. Or something.
9. Dr Acula – J.D., Scrubs
Okay, not really a renowned vampire. Or a very successful one. But it still makes me giggle. This undercover vampire who screens as a doctor by day is the brainchild of J.D. from Scrubs – although for some reason, never got made into that biopic he envisioned. I have no idea why. He’s a doctor AND a vampire!
8. Lestat – The Vampire Chronicles: Interview with a Vampire, Queen of the Dead
Lestat is the vampire most recognisable as Tom Cruise, the long-haired sissy turned blood-sucker who philosophies, dallies around and turns Brad Pitt into a vampire who disappoints him by bleeding chickens dry. Perhaps not really a hero, Lestat is nevertheless an interesting character who is hard to kill, charismatic and diverse – at one point he even becomes a rock star!
7. Vlad the Drac – Vlad the Drac series, Ann Jungman
Just because I remember reading these books this as a teeny tot. Vlad is the ultimate (and tiny) vegetarian vampire who blesses the reluctant Stone family with his presence by choosing to stay with them, and getting up to all sorts of naughtiness. With a diet of household liquids (washing up liquid, shoe polish, soap) and hiding his vegetarianism from his traditional family, Vlad covers his identity with a bottle of ketchup and tall tales of eating the milk-man. Great fun : )
6. Count von Count – Sesame Street
The Count who taught us how to count, in a very slow, breathy way and with Romany music. No signs of blood-sucking, hiding from the sun or sleeping in coffins for this vamp, so that us kids were protected from the traumas of vampirism and instead exposed to him counting EVERYTHING. “When I’m alone, I count myself. One count!” Ah ha ha ha…
5. Vampira – Maila Nurmi, Plan 9 from Outer Space
This is the only female vampire in the list (probably because vampires are usually seen in the male role who attack the weak helpless women) – yet she is quite an iconic figure. With one seriously thin waistline to rival Dita von Teese, and pale skin to fit the list, Vampira is sexy, disturbing and weird all in one. Although I’m sure that Maila Nurmi probably never even played a vampire, her career was based on the image of one, and it was pretty much spent mocking the gothic roles, and was made famous by director Ed Wood’s flop film ‘Plan 9 from Outer Space‘.
4. Blade – Wesley Snipes, Marvel Comics
Quite possible the most kick-ass vampire of them all, Blade is the mixed-race vamp who can walk in daylight and still drink blood of us puny humans. He’s like the Chuck Norris of vampires – the hero who becomes a vampire hunter just by beating the living daylights out of them. And he’ll give you a smart-ass comment before he kills you too.
3. Angel – David Boreanaz, created by Joss Wheden
Our favourite vampire romance, featuring Buffy and her boy Angel, this is a man of few words and fewer facial expressions. While he battles for good and has a human soul, he’ll break the habit every now and then to go evil and get his vamp on. But fear not, he’ll become commercialised and gets his very own corporate business to run happily ever after, with his own team of evil-slayers.
2. Dracula – Bram Stoker
The original vampire in fiction, this is a timeless character which has been depicted time and time again by many actors, cartoons, puppets and even text-based role-playing games (yes I had one. It was awful). With a name that’s become synonymous with the word ‘vampire’, the original story behind Dracula is a lot less gory and a little more spooky, involving a hero called Jonathan Harker in a chase to defeat the mysterious Dracula who has employed him. Perhaps most famously played by Bela Lugosi, this character really is a bit scary, with a death scare that could only be matched by my mother
1. Nosferatu – Count Orlock/Count Dracula
Although Dracula was more notorious, ever since Nosferatu scared the living crap out of me as a child, it’s stuck in my mind as the creepiest (and most geriatric) vampire of them all. Technically, Nosferatu is just a rip-off of Dracula, where the directors of the original were unable to get permission to use the names in ‘Dracula’ but as a result, this vampire has become just as famous as the original, and just as creepy. Although I did like the Willem Dafoe version.
There’s always going to be something to add to this list of vampires, whether it the newer interpretations, real-life history cases or just a random squidgy vampire from Spongebob Squarepants. Vampires can be creepy or alternative just good entertainment (think Buffy the movie), they may not be to everyone’s taste but I can guarantee you this – everytime you now type in ‘vampire’ on the internetz, you’ll be sure to find a Twilight sparkle reference 😀