Harlequin Oddities Found About Town: Frozen Zombie Food

It’s silly I know. But I still giggled. I’ve NEVER heard of a “family favourite” by a company called Mr Brains (I bet he got a lot of jokes and nicknames at school), and the fact that the actual food is a meaty one only makes it more giggly.

Introducing meaty delights, or ‘Mr Brains’s Pork Faggots’, zombies no longer have to tire themselves out by chasing down their food, no more clumsy and bloody mess on their rags and it’s all been nicely cut up in manageable portions. AND it’s frozen. What’s not to love?
There’s a whole range of potential products here, and it doesn’t have to be restricted to zombies. You could have Bloody Slush Puppies for vampires, werewolf treats and Sherbert Potions for wizards. Okay I’m getting ahead of myself here, but watch this space, there could be something for Lord Alan Sugar’s latest venture yet!

Plus it gives a whole new perspective on the Asian phrase to ‘eat someones brains out’ (i.e. do their head in), which sounds a lot more zombie-fied in English than it does in Urdu/Punjabi!


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